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Do Not Open This Box

Wednesday, 2 September 2026

Session recap — 2026-09-02 (session 79)

Transcribed with whisper.cpp + pyannote diarisation. Speaker labels left anonymous (Ben DMs). Proper nouns standardised to the campaign’s canonical list (Gwrtheryn, “Mourning” Star, Leaf Ear, Vašek Velkorým, Mouse, Lleuad; Aetherium; Ketî; Marcelline Draive; Adrik Eversharp; Thalia Rimehart; Phineas Braughan). Names absent from that list are marked [unclear].

Where we left off

Gwrtheryn and Star were shut inside the Ellswater warehouse with the freed Saffron-in-the-Reeds, every door barred, guards hammering to get back in, and the five-foot iron-banded crate their compass had led them to sitting on a loading bay in the northwest corner — while Leaf Ear, Mouse and Vašek raced in from two streets east.

What happened

1. Confirming the score

• Star produced the AetherTuning Rod Adrik Eversharp gave him. The moment he touched it, it hummed and shook; swept round the room it weakened in every direction but the crate. This was the big score.
• Saffron confirmed she cared nothing for the contents — it comes from her homeland, and they’ve been racking the continent to get it. She only asked that Gwrtheryn take enough to give to a friend who can make things with it.
• Gwrtheryn cast Reduce on the crate: halved in size, an eighth the mass, ten rounds before it snapped back. It fit the bag of holding — barely, and only with the warning that if it re-enlarged in there it would destroy the bag and dump everything out. The table’s OOC deliberation on that point cost them a round of the ten.
• The concentration cost broke Gwrtheryn’s invisibility, and Star finally saw who he’d been sharing a dark warehouse with. Outside, guards battered through the outer door on a natural 19 — but Gwrtheryn, Star and Saffron were already up the office stairs with the door shut behind them.

2. Out the window, north over the rooftops

• Star cast Pass Without Trace and they went out through the office window Saffron had come in by. Leaf Ear, watching through Mr Sparrow, had the bird dive down and bop Saffron to lay Greater Invisibility on her — she vanished mid-flight and was told, simply, to keep hold of Star’s tail. (A tabaxi custom, apparently. She had already grabbed it once and been badly spooked when the owner turned invisible.)
• The three went north across the roof, climbed down and crossed the street on a 34 stealth — Saffron rolling a natural 20 — with the shadows swirling and the lamplight dimming as they passed. Gwrtheryn dimmed the lamps the rest of the way with Thaumaturgy for good measure.
• Leaf Ear burned a spell to Disguise Self as a young blonde woman in a simple dress, then broke off the chase entirely to run interference. Mouse dropped back with him.

3. The battle of the ruses

• Vašek mounted Bezhlas and came cantering at the two guards on the east gate deliberately looking like he’d lost control — armour clattering, the horse weaving, a lamp post rung like a bell. “Could one of you grab him? I’ve lost my irons.”
• The gate opened behind them and out came the tiefling woman with the pistol — she holstered it, grabbed the reins, told the horse to sort itself out, and snapped “oh for fuck’s sake, whatever.” As the group split up to hunt, Vašek cast Calm Emotions across all of them (DC 17): naturals 2, 2 and 3 — three of them, the tiefling included, stopped dead, turned round smiling and asked what they’d all been so worked up about. One guard rolled a natural 19, kept his head, and watched his boss suggest they go back inside, finish their cigarettes and play cards.
• Leaf Ear, from cover, used the sparrow and Prestidigitation to fake the footsteps of three people running east. The one lucid guard heard it, swore at everyone including Vašek, and set off in exactly the wrong direction. Mouse hid herself for the hour.
• Vašek then “accidentally” spilled about thirty gold on the cobbles while mounting up. The guard stopped, looked at the coins, looked up the street, looked back at the coins — “oh fuck it, that’s like a month’s pay” — and gave up the chase to scoop them out of the road. The tiefling pocketed one and cheerfully told Vašek it was half one in the morning.

4. Nine hundred yards, one minute at a time

• Two streets on, Star dumped the crate out of the bag in an alley and it promptly re-enlarged. The safe house was a twenty-minute walk away; Gwrtheryn had Reduce three more castings deep at best. Cue an extended table effort involving Haste, cheetah speeds, 55 mph and 3,296 feet, all of which ended with the DM pointing out they’d arrive at the front door and then be stuck in the street under an immovable crate.
• Amy’s suggestion won: find a cart. At a busier crossroads Gwrtheryn hailed a covered wagon and offered the driver 100 gold for it. The man leapt off, clicked his heels, shouted “I’m rich!” and ran off towards the Ledgeryards to find a tavern.
• They loaded the shrunken crate in among the crates of fruit, Gwrtheryn took the reins on his land-vehicles proficiency (a 36 with Flash of Genius) and drove an elderly grey donkey flat out through the streets — the timbers creaking as the crate re-enlarged, Star constantly casting Mending underneath it. Mouse spotted the white tarpaulin flapping past at full tilt and knew they’d made it.
• The wagon screeched up behind Marcelline Draive’s safe house; the rest of the party arrived five minutes later. One last Reduce got the crate through the door, furniture was shoved aside, and it grew back to full size in the middle of the room.
• Vašek drove the cart off into the night to make it look like an ordinary delivery, and ran straight into the old man who’d sold it in the first place, still delighted with his hundred gold. Vašek handed the cart back for nothing, refused the money, left some pamphlets in the back, and the old man clicked his heels and drove away to go drinking. Vašek returned with about ten kebabs.

5. Do not open this box

• They were seen. Mouse clocked a curtain shifting in a house near where the children play. Nobody silently arrives by cart on cobblestones at half one in the morning. Somebody watched the whole party carry a large crate into the safe house.
• Star had hooded Saffron for the entire journey so she couldn’t learn where the safe house is. She had her paws over the hood as well: “I’m not peeking, I promise.”
• In the dark, unlit room, Mouse watched Gwrtheryn’s pale face staring at the box — and watched Saffron take a step back in fear. The crate makes her physically ill. The purple glow inside it makes her weak. “They tested it to see what would happen. They experimented with it. I don’t think they understand what it is. I certainly do not.” And then: “If you want to know what is good for you — do not open this box.”
• Gwrtheryn fetched the rod and made an arcana check at advantage (an 18 with Flash of Genius). The vibration grew so violent he dropped it. He’s handled Aetherium plenty and Thalia Rimehart never mentioned this: if the rod measures purity, what’s in that crate is grade-A pure Aetherium.

6. Saffron’s story

• She is Saffron-in-the-Reeds, taken from her village of [unclear: “Moyopata”] near the River Ketî delta some six weeks ago, and shipped here with many other tabaxi. Her husband, parents and children were all taken; she has heard nothing and only hopes it was quick.
• She was taken for assessment and experimentation, because — as she overheard — “we are sensitive to magic, more so than these people.” They believed she was useful.
• She had planned to escape and board a ship home to Ketî. But the guards talked at length about a different destination: the north, “those godless elves” — and one said a ship leaves north in two days.
• Star, who has been here three years, worked out from her accent that she’s a southerner from a tribe he’s never met — the same language, a different dialect, roughly London to Manchester. He gave her his own Ketian name, [unclear: “Kelaar”], and they found common ground in worship of Tutayaq and the shadows “for they are our arrows as we hunt.” He put her to bed upstairs, where she curled up, tucked her tail under her cheek and fell instantly asleep — Star sitting on the floor beside the bed humming old Ketian folk songs.

NPCs met

• Saffron-in-the-Reeds — rescued tabaxi from the Ketî delta, six weeks a captive and test subject. Exhausted, ill in the crate’s presence, grateful, and firmly with the party. Currently asleep upstairs in the safe house.
• Jax — the tiefling woman in the black leather coat who runs the warehouse: pistol, foul temper, and one of the three the party magically becalmed. Alive, unharmed, and now with a personal reason to remember Vašek’s face.
• The warehouse guards — one still perfectly clear-headed and now hunting eastwards, two chemically delighted with life, all of them shortly to discover what’s missing.
• The cart driver — sold his employer’s [or his own] wagon for 100 gold and ran off to the Ledgeryards to spend it.
• The old man — the wagon’s original owner, who got the cart back for free on top of the hundred gold and considered it his lucky day. Left holding a stack of Vašek’s pamphlets.
• The watcher in the window — unseen, unnamed, near the safe house. Saw everything.

Decisions made

• Committed to physically stealing the crate rather than sampling it or marking it for later.
• Bought a cart with 100 gold instead of trying to relay-Reduce the crate nine hundred yards, and then gave the cart away rather than sell it.
• Vašek spent Calm Emotions and thirty gold on the pursuit instead of fighting — no further guards killed.
• Hooded Saffron for the whole journey so she can’t give up the safe house’s location.
• Did not open the box, on Saffron’s warning; Leaf Ear argued to wait until the whole party could decide, and Mouse asked what opening it would even gain.
• Agreed the safe house is burned and they need to relocate the crate quickly — a night, no longer. Leaf Ear wants it taken to Adrik Eversharp’s working laboratory; Gwrtheryn would rather take it to Trilinar University and Thalia Rimehart.

Loot & rewards

• The iron-banded crate of grade-A pure Aetherium — extracted, delivered, unopened, sitting in the middle of the safe house floor.
• A donkey and covered wagon (acquired for 100 gold, given away the same night).
• Warehouse-two paperwork, still unread, still in Star’s bag of holding.
• One rescued tabaxi.
• About ten kebabs (vegetable, meat and fish).

Open threads / hooks

• A ship sails north in two days, to “those godless elves” — and the trafficked tabaxi may be on it. Saffron’s family among them.
• The wedding is tomorrow. When the party wakes, it’s wedding day, and they’ve just put every guard in the docks district on alert.
• The second warehouse is still untouched, may hold more, and will now certainly be expecting them.
• Phineas Braughan has just lost something very valuable. Leaf Ear plans to scry on him using a letter of his as the focus — flagged now, to be resolved next session.
• The party still hasn’t found the daughter they came for.
• Somebody watched them carry the crate inside. The safe house is compromised.
• Why does proximity to the crate make Saffron ill, and what does “sensitive to magic” mean for tabaxi specifically? Rimehart never mentioned purity levels of Aetherium at all.
• The warehouse papers remain unread by anyone who can read them.

Memorable moments

• The battle of the ruses: Leaf Ear’s fake footsteps versus Vašek’s fake runaway horse, counter-rused into a stalemate — won on points by a handful of coins in the gutter.
• “Grab him — the horse — we’re busy.”
• A calmed guard turning to his boss mid-manhunt: “Yo Jax, what are we doing again?” — while the one guard who made his save screams “what the fuck have you done to him?”
• Saffron rolling a natural 20 on stealth while invisible. “The cat’s so invisible.”
• “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads” — Gwrtheryn hitting a 36 on the first land-vehicles check of the campaign and making an old grey donkey careen through Ellswater at speed.
• The carter and the old man both clicking their heels in delight over the same wagon within an hour of each other.
• “I’m not peeking, I promise.”
• Ten minutes of the table computing 3,296 feet, 55 mph and cheetah top speed before Amy said “find a cart.” “But we have magic — why do we need common sense?”
• A genuine out-of-character debate on whether saffron is a herb, a spice, a bark or a pollen, settled on Tibetan monks’ robes — which turns out to be the exact colour of Saffron’s fur.